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Sunday, 13 July 2008
Friday, 11 July 2008
Operation Get a Life
I have had a Moment of Enlightenment. I have no life. I've been so wrapped up in working late and being stressed out that all my weekend and evening time is spent recovering ... and not in having fun! So my resolution is to find one thing to do every week that makes me leave the office on time, meet new people and learn something fun ...
I'm thinking that this could be playing netball, learning ceroc dancing, wine tasting, cookery classes. Well, anything really ... and all suggestions are welcome.
Obviously, it needs to be cheap, reasonably local and full of hot boys. This might seriously limit the options.
K has been enlisted, and Operation Get a Life has begun.
I'm thinking that this could be playing netball, learning ceroc dancing, wine tasting, cookery classes. Well, anything really ... and all suggestions are welcome.
Obviously, it needs to be cheap, reasonably local and full of hot boys. This might seriously limit the options.
K has been enlisted, and Operation Get a Life has begun.
Wednesday, 9 July 2008
Dodging the crossfire
Briefly, the story so far is that my team at the Big Company works closely with an events team. The events guys came to us ten days ago to ask for some advice (which would take "two hours, tops") on content for an exhibition they're running. Fast forward to yesterday and I was forced to take the Head of Events to one side and tell her that I had major concerns about the ability of her team to deliver the exhibition in the time we have available. Because - even though they've know about it for almost a year - they've done F all about it until now. And it's happening in two weeks time. Oh and they apparently have no clue about project management, agency management, budget control, production processes ...
The outcome? One of the team's contractors has been let go, another person has been demoted to a support role, and an agency project manager is now "in charge". Except that he's not, because he's managing the event side of things, not the content production. Which still falls to me apparently.
Meanwhile, three of our team heads are now gunning for each other, but not talking to each other so I'm getting it from both sides. And the junior team members are justifiably pissed off because they've been kept in the dark for the past 24 hours and now have zero control (rightly!) over the whole shambles of a project - and they're gunning for me too.
Maybe I should have kept schtum and let them all screw it up ... if only the CEO wasn't due to speak at the event I would have been tempted. As it is, I'm just trying to keep my head down and stay out of the brewing war ...
The outcome? One of the team's contractors has been let go, another person has been demoted to a support role, and an agency project manager is now "in charge". Except that he's not, because he's managing the event side of things, not the content production. Which still falls to me apparently.
Meanwhile, three of our team heads are now gunning for each other, but not talking to each other so I'm getting it from both sides. And the junior team members are justifiably pissed off because they've been kept in the dark for the past 24 hours and now have zero control (rightly!) over the whole shambles of a project - and they're gunning for me too.
Maybe I should have kept schtum and let them all screw it up ... if only the CEO wasn't due to speak at the event I would have been tempted. As it is, I'm just trying to keep my head down and stay out of the brewing war ...
Tuesday, 8 July 2008
Funny, weird, random
Isn't it interesting when you find out that you've been projecting an image of yourself that completely contradicts the one in your own head?
At last week's Big Company summer party, my line manager certainly surprised me on this front. She and a colleague randomly decided that everyone in the team had the characteristics of a certain era in time - but not necessarily this era.
Intrigued, and enjoying this concept more than a little, I wondered which era they had me down for. The swinging 60s perhaps. Maybe the fast and loose 70s. I was fairly sure that I'm not retro chic enough to be an 80s gal, but my quite vocal 'back in the day'-ness about the university days could place me into the 90s I guess. But no.
It seems that they have me down as a poster girl for the 1950s. Because of my wholesomeness.
Seriously.
My reaction was to burst out laughing. J-Ro did the same (fortunately for her I wasn't offended!). Clearly, these two do not yet know me at all well ...
At last week's Big Company summer party, my line manager certainly surprised me on this front. She and a colleague randomly decided that everyone in the team had the characteristics of a certain era in time - but not necessarily this era.
Intrigued, and enjoying this concept more than a little, I wondered which era they had me down for. The swinging 60s perhaps. Maybe the fast and loose 70s. I was fairly sure that I'm not retro chic enough to be an 80s gal, but my quite vocal 'back in the day'-ness about the university days could place me into the 90s I guess. But no.
It seems that they have me down as a poster girl for the 1950s. Because of my wholesomeness.
Seriously.
My reaction was to burst out laughing. J-Ro did the same (fortunately for her I wasn't offended!). Clearly, these two do not yet know me at all well ...
Monday, 7 July 2008
Sugar fix
In recent months, days like today would end in a little light text flirtation with BtG. It's become my instinctive cheer-me-up game, and rarely disappoints.
But it's all change. Four long days since I texted the boy and still no reply. I have officially given my friends permission to drag my phone out of my hands and throw it in the Thames should I be tempted in the future.
Meanwhile, some of those things that would normally drag down my zen levels and leave me reaching for the feel-good factor of a booty call ... two heinous hangovers in the space of one weekend. A party involving the smoking of ever-so-slightly bad substances. Flirtation with random hot boys (from work and not from work) that has inevitably led nowhere. The dawning realisation that work has surreptitiously ramped up to a terrifying crescendo once more. Oh, and the outcome of my half year review at the Big Company, which - despite a glowingly, embarrassingly brilliant verbal appraisal - has resulted in a mediocre grade because "you haven't been here long enough to get a top grade and too few senior people know your work to change that".
Bah! This time, I'm being strong and not texting the boy, despite this current need for a top up to my zen levels. I've decided he's like a sugar fix ... a short term high that only leads to an inevitable dip.
No more! I have sworn off alcohol for the remainder of July, and that just may help me break the BtG habit I seem to have acquired.
But it's all change. Four long days since I texted the boy and still no reply. I have officially given my friends permission to drag my phone out of my hands and throw it in the Thames should I be tempted in the future.
Meanwhile, some of those things that would normally drag down my zen levels and leave me reaching for the feel-good factor of a booty call ... two heinous hangovers in the space of one weekend. A party involving the smoking of ever-so-slightly bad substances. Flirtation with random hot boys (from work and not from work) that has inevitably led nowhere. The dawning realisation that work has surreptitiously ramped up to a terrifying crescendo once more. Oh, and the outcome of my half year review at the Big Company, which - despite a glowingly, embarrassingly brilliant verbal appraisal - has resulted in a mediocre grade because "you haven't been here long enough to get a top grade and too few senior people know your work to change that".
Bah! This time, I'm being strong and not texting the boy, despite this current need for a top up to my zen levels. I've decided he's like a sugar fix ... a short term high that only leads to an inevitable dip.
No more! I have sworn off alcohol for the remainder of July, and that just may help me break the BtG habit I seem to have acquired.
Thursday, 3 July 2008
You know what they say ...
... about watched kettles never boiling ...
And so it is that I am glued to my phone, having sent BtG a text almost four hours ago ... that's 240 minutes ... 14,400 seconds ago.
And so far there has been no response.
OK, so the man is a teacher, and cannot simply drop everything to reply to me as and when I require attention. But still. Here am I, doing that ridiculous thing of sliding the phone open every ten or so minutes (OK, OK, it's every five minutes really! Sheesh!) ... just in case a sneaky text has arrived without me realising. Despite my eyes being glued to the phone minute, after slow, painful minute ...
Hmmmm
And so it is that I am glued to my phone, having sent BtG a text almost four hours ago ... that's 240 minutes ... 14,400 seconds ago.
And so far there has been no response.
OK, so the man is a teacher, and cannot simply drop everything to reply to me as and when I require attention. But still. Here am I, doing that ridiculous thing of sliding the phone open every ten or so minutes (OK, OK, it's every five minutes really! Sheesh!) ... just in case a sneaky text has arrived without me realising. Despite my eyes being glued to the phone minute, after slow, painful minute ...
Hmmmm
Today is one of those days
A day when the sun shines, despite the gloomy weather forecast replete with black thunderous rain clouds.
A day when you risk an outfit that could only just be classed as work-friendly, but that feels effortlessly graceful and glam.
A day when strutting down the street, SatC-style, stilettos encouraging a gentle sway of the hips and sunshine casting a glow to the face and sparkle to the eyes is the perfect way to spend a rare lunchbreak.
Today is one of those days when the world can do no wrong, when sidelong glances of admiration from hot boys on the tube feel deserved, and zen levels are resilient.
... and there was you thinking that this blog title was a negative one! ;-)
A day when you risk an outfit that could only just be classed as work-friendly, but that feels effortlessly graceful and glam.
A day when strutting down the street, SatC-style, stilettos encouraging a gentle sway of the hips and sunshine casting a glow to the face and sparkle to the eyes is the perfect way to spend a rare lunchbreak.
Today is one of those days when the world can do no wrong, when sidelong glances of admiration from hot boys on the tube feel deserved, and zen levels are resilient.
... and there was you thinking that this blog title was a negative one! ;-)
Tuesday, 1 July 2008
Alpha =
P1 used to call me an alpha female, and has recently suggested that I didn't appear to need him at all during last year's emotional crisis. It's something that gave me food for thought, and while I wouldn't for a moment deny that my independent nature would probably define me as an alpha gal, I was surprised at the latter as it's completely untrue.
In fact, last year for the first time in a long time, I allowed the man in my life to see and share my angst, in all it's tearful glory. Or not. It really wasn't pretty, and it took a big leap of trust on my part.
Bit of a shame then, that he ended up letting me down.
I guess, on reflection, that several years of men letting me down and/or simply not hanging around for long enough that I start trusting and confiding in them has increased my alpha factor. And now, according to a couple of advisers, I possibly (probably) put prospective men off because they don't feel that I need them.
So what has always been a source of pride for me - independence, standing on my own two feet, staying strong - is kinda on my mind now. I'm not the only one of my single friends who occasionally voices the thought that entering a "proper" relationship where compromises and sharing are the name of the game could be tricky. But more to the point - I don't seem to be getting that far anyway, as getting past the starting blocks just ain't happening ... time after time.
Hmmm. Not that I want to change anyway, because I still like being an alpha gal, but somehow this is stuck in my mind.
In fact, last year for the first time in a long time, I allowed the man in my life to see and share my angst, in all it's tearful glory. Or not. It really wasn't pretty, and it took a big leap of trust on my part.
Bit of a shame then, that he ended up letting me down.
I guess, on reflection, that several years of men letting me down and/or simply not hanging around for long enough that I start trusting and confiding in them has increased my alpha factor. And now, according to a couple of advisers, I possibly (probably) put prospective men off because they don't feel that I need them.
So what has always been a source of pride for me - independence, standing on my own two feet, staying strong - is kinda on my mind now. I'm not the only one of my single friends who occasionally voices the thought that entering a "proper" relationship where compromises and sharing are the name of the game could be tricky. But more to the point - I don't seem to be getting that far anyway, as getting past the starting blocks just ain't happening ... time after time.
Hmmm. Not that I want to change anyway, because I still like being an alpha gal, but somehow this is stuck in my mind.
Monday, 30 June 2008
What the Fuck
And today's "WtF" prize goes to Sweden, for this little gem ...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/7479758.stm
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http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/7479758.stm
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Sunday, 29 June 2008
Smitten
I've entered dangerous territory. I'm smitten with BtG.
We met on Friday night for a video exhibition at the Tate Modern and then drinks. It was only our third ever real date - everything else we've shared should be firmly filed under "booty call".
At first I felt a little shy, but it was so lovely to see him that the conversation started to flow and I found myself chatting on about my usual nonsense - even relating the formula to zen to him at some point.
I was trying not to make any advances, because I was interested to see when and how he might do so ... I was intrigued as to whether he thought this was a date too, or simply foreplay.
But from the way he took my hand as we strolled down the South Bank, and then kissed my forehead as we waited to be served, I decided that the signs were good. Roll on a couple of hours and we were drinking sparkling wine and kissing -and negotiating where we would stay that night.
He's had to vacate his place while some building work is done, and is staying with a mate. I still have a house guest and paper-thin walls. The answer? We crept into my place, careful not to wake Amy whose sofa bed is right next to the front door.
And I find that silence can be an aphrodisiac ... And also quite funny.
Later, I remembered that sleeping with BtG beside me is simply lovely - and waking up with him there is even better.
In the morning he made me coffee in bed, and then when he wanted to go outside later on, suggested we share a chair in a way that meant we were back in the bedroom within minutes. Because even though the beautiful sunshine made a little al fresco tempting, I'm sure that my lovely neighbours might not have agreed!
Ah, bliss. But now I'm smitten, and this is probably not a good thing.
We met on Friday night for a video exhibition at the Tate Modern and then drinks. It was only our third ever real date - everything else we've shared should be firmly filed under "booty call".
At first I felt a little shy, but it was so lovely to see him that the conversation started to flow and I found myself chatting on about my usual nonsense - even relating the formula to zen to him at some point.
I was trying not to make any advances, because I was interested to see when and how he might do so ... I was intrigued as to whether he thought this was a date too, or simply foreplay.
But from the way he took my hand as we strolled down the South Bank, and then kissed my forehead as we waited to be served, I decided that the signs were good. Roll on a couple of hours and we were drinking sparkling wine and kissing -and negotiating where we would stay that night.
He's had to vacate his place while some building work is done, and is staying with a mate. I still have a house guest and paper-thin walls. The answer? We crept into my place, careful not to wake Amy whose sofa bed is right next to the front door.
And I find that silence can be an aphrodisiac ... And also quite funny.
Later, I remembered that sleeping with BtG beside me is simply lovely - and waking up with him there is even better.
In the morning he made me coffee in bed, and then when he wanted to go outside later on, suggested we share a chair in a way that meant we were back in the bedroom within minutes. Because even though the beautiful sunshine made a little al fresco tempting, I'm sure that my lovely neighbours might not have agreed!
Ah, bliss. But now I'm smitten, and this is probably not a good thing.
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